When I was in 5th grade, my parents sold our house and built a new one, meaning I would be going to a different middle school in 6th grade than all my previous classmates. I was not moving cities, but I was going to be "the new kid". Everyone was trying to reassure me that 6th grade was a perfect time to make the change because EVERYONE would be the new kid in 6th grade. There were multiple elementary schools feeding into the middle school and lots of kids would be in the same boat.
That sounded nice, but I encountered a much different reality on day one of 6th grade. Sure, there were multiple elementary schools feeding into the middle school, but instead of encouraging us to meet new people, it made the insecure, self-absorbed 11 and 12 year olds of Carl Traeger Middle School cling even harder to the friends they established from elementary school. The school policy of assigned seats at lunch did not help. Pick wherever you want to sit and whoever you want to sit with on day one... and then it's locked for the first nine weeks of school! No Pressure... this just determines who you're going to be spending the largest single period of free social time in your day with... but I digress. Long story short, my stomach turned every single morning on the way to school. and every single night as I thought about the next day. Since it was 1999, I could not text or snap my buddies from elementary school to stay in touch. I was miserable and trying to float by each day without making any waves or directing any attention toward myself. I was afraid to reach out and build relationships. I was afraid to show my personality for fear of being rejected. This all culminated in a phone call to the school counselor from my mom... which is some top-level middle school embarrassment, especially considering I was unaware she had done it and got called into her office with no warning or time to prepare. If I knew I was going to be talking to the counselor, I probably would have tried to convince her I was floating by just fine and suppressed all my actual thoughts and feelings. The problem is, she knew I was lying when I originally said I was doing fine and got me to break and spill the whole story with minimal follow up. That information led her to pull some strings and change my lunch seating to be around kids I was playing YMCA football with. That information led her to encourage (or basically force) me to join student council where I worked on setting up and tearing down school dances with some kids I had never talked to before. That information led to her saying hi to me and calling me by name every time I passed in the hallway, and not allowing me to pass without saying hi back. I was reluctant to go along with all of it at the time, but in hindsight, it limited the social and emotional damage I was inflicting upon myself and caused me to go make friends. Now, I'm the new kid again but in the role of school staff, not student. After becoming incredibly comfortable at Beloit Turner Middle School over the last 7 years, I am living in a new house, going to a new school, surrounded by new people with new responsibilities, just like in 6th grade back in 1999. Sure, I am nervous about a couple things but I know the experience will be fantastic. Instead of dreading all the new people, I am excited about it. That has never been easy for me, but my 6th grade experience taught me that it's not supposed to be easy to reach out to new people... it's supposed to be worthwhile. This is the attitude I bring to the 2018-19 school year. If you are a student or parent reading this, I think it's important for you to know. As seventh graders, every student that walks into my classroom on day one will be a new kid in a way... new to the middle school building and new to the middle school experience. The biggest reason for me putting this out there is so you know two things: I have been through this before, and I am going through it again. Hopefully I can play the same role that my school counselor did and encourage you to branch out, join activities and experience all the great stuff middle school has to offer. Perhaps more importantly though, I can go through this new experience together with all of you. Are you ready to get lost in the hallways together? Are you ready to try and figure out the bell schedule together? Are you ready to be the new kid together? I know I am! Let's do this thing!
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AuthorJohn Honish: Archives
June 2021
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